January 2012
23 posts
day 16: the quiet truth (or the post where i use...
On Sunday morning I received a text message from a friend about my blog saying:
Sometimes I don’t want to read your new posts because your writing can put me in a place that I don’t to be in. It’s too relatable for me. I’m not saying its depressing, because that’s not always it. I would describe your writing as a beautiful, but painful, truth.
I just got a text...
day 15: twenty-one candles.
I haven’t written in four days, and that’s mainly because I knew that there were a lot of things I desperately wanted to say about today that I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from saying once I started writing. They were mainly negative things about how I wasn’t looking forward to this day and about what it meant to me. Yes, today marks another chapter in my story, but...
5 tags
day 12: I've never left a place that felt like...
I’ve left people that felt like home and I’ve had people leave me that felt like home.
But the only time in my life where I genuinely felt as if I was created to live someplace was during my time spent in England.
Then I came to Florida two weeks ago.
And maybe it’s just the beach in january. And maybe it’s wearing shorts in the winter. And maybe it’s these people...
confusedwolfmusic asked: What's the worst book you've ever read?
day 10: grudges and guilt.
i believe in the best of people. i believe in the best of me. and i believe in the best of you.
you hurt me more than i knew i was capable of being hurt. and when i finally got over the initial shock, you somehow managed to get yourself back into a position to do it again.
so, yes, there are a lot of spiteful things i want to say to you. there are a lot of unkind things i feel like i need to...
“Don’t use words too big for the subject. Don’t say...”
– Clive Staples
20 tags
“They’re shouting for you,” she said with a smile. “But I could never have done it,” he objected, “without everyone else’s help.” “That may be true,” said Reason gravely, “but you had the courage to try; and what you can do is often simply a matter of what you will do.”
“That’s why,” said Azaz, “there...
day 8: what am i doing here?
Today was a really exciting day for a lot of reasons: first, we finally got caught up on messages! second, we had a the first day of our mini-MOVE conference! and third, we got to hang out with Jamie for an hour and half this afternoon, just swapping life stories.
Probably the greatest moment of the day occurred during our mini-MOVE, while we were all sitting around a table and having a...
9 tags
day 7: love is possible.
I met the most beautiful couple today. I listened to them talk about how they had known each other for three weeks when he proposed. I heard about how after they got married they flew to New Zealand and just began traveling—and then they never stopped. 8 kids, 38 years later, and countless countries later, they’re still madly in love.
After they were done telling us their story, they...
day 5: fleeing and running.
I have this friend and the last time we talked was a couple days before they would be driving through my hometown and they had mentioned wanting to stop by and see me on their way through, but for reasons unknown to me it didn’t happen.
My entire life I’ve lived 1 minute and 32 seconds (depending on that pesky red light) from the on-ramp to I-75. My entire life I’ve been able to...
day 3: be love, have love, give love.
Sometimes the lessons that I learn won’t be in the office. Sometimes it comes from being in a new place with new people, out of my comfort zone. Sometimes I’ll be on my phone and have my epiphany for the day. Sometimes it may be in my quiet, alone time. Somedays it may not come at all.
Today was a weird day. It was a good day, just weird. I had a feeling that I couldn’t shake,...
day 2: with hope.
You chose life, and everyday you continue to wake-up choosing life. You deserve life, and you deserve nothing less than life. This is not to say that with each decision life will suddenly be made more bearable. And this is not to say that by choosing to confront your problems head-on they suddenly become smaller. There will still be bad days. There will still be hard days. And there will be days...
4 tags
“Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes...”
– Dear Sugar, TIny Beautiful Things
day 1.
It’s weird how in a split second you can go from counting down the months, weeks, days, hours, and minutes to counting up.
And that’s exactly what today was for me.
I finally switched from the excited anticipation that I’ve been feeling since a fateful day in October when I was just a crazy girl with a crazy dream, to having to convince myself that this is real and actually...
9 tags
There was once a boy named Milo who didn’t know what to do with himself—not just sometimes, but always.
When he was in school, he longed to be out, and when he was out he longed to be in. On the way he thought about coming home, and coming home he thought about going. Wherever he was he wished he were somewhere else, and when he got there he wondered why he’d bothered. Nothing...
10 tags
Dream #2.
The house with the yellow gate.
It was whispered to me as if it was the kind of secret everyone knew, but none spoke of; immediately I had flashed back to my own house: gateless and void of all yellow. I needed to know what, and more importantly who, was behind that gate—despite the fact that deep down I was confident that I already knew the answer to those questions.
The next night as I...
I wish I didn’t have to miss you.
I wish I didn’t have to miss you. I wish I didn’t have to miss you.
I wish I didn’t have to miss you. I wish I didn’t have to miss you.
I wish I didn’t have to miss you. I wish I didn’t have to miss you.
I wish I didn’t have to miss you.
I wish I didn’t have to miss you.
I wish I didn’t have to...
post-sunset: there is hope in the dawn.
this year i pray that life treats you better than you deserve.
i hope you laugh often and cry with passion.
i desire that you love those that are worthy of it but still make room in your heart for those that are not.
i want to see you shed the old skin of who you once were and become the person whom you were created to be.
and wherever you find yourself tonight, i pray that joy finds you in...
December 2011
23 posts
not a big enough suitcase.
I keep telling myself: Savannah, only bring what you absolutely need to Florida.
The truth is, though, no matter how I rearrange my clothes, Do I roll my jeans or fold them? Should I leave some things on their hangers? and no matter what frivolously purchased outfits I take out, I mean, come on, am I really going to wear that sequin dress? and no matter how long I just sit and stare at the...
5 tags
She’s got love in her heart for her babies, and hope in her mind for tomorrow. And blood on her hands that only she sees, holding the last bit of time that’s borrowed. But you never know where that heart has been, and we’ll never know how hard it’s been. I wanna cut open my chest and let her in, but that won’t fix what needs to mend. And she stands there unlit cigarette in...
6 tags
hold your breath today.
the moment before the needle pierces the skin. the first time your hand touches somebody else’s and you aren’t sure how they’re going to react. the split-second between the car in front of you braking and the car you are riding in braking. when your phone starts ringing; before you know who is calling, while you have that inward battle where your heart and mind fight over who you...
i wish i was braver.
5 tags
Playing Pretend.
There is a funny thing about lying: eventually the truth has to come out.
So you lie. And I find out you lie. And you realize I’m not an idiot and I’ve figured it out.
But you’re not brave enough to admit the truth. And I’ll never be confident enough to confront the lie. So we’ll just stop talking to avoid the elephant in the room.
And on one hand it deeply hurts,...
6 tags
WatchTreat your ears right. Listen to this track.
sinai vessel — the submariner
i’m charting oceans for the future, writing songs for all the waves i’ll color in the coastline and you’ll fill in the blanks until my ink and architecture soak through the page and my blueprints fall like anchors, drowning depth with their weight. and the veins above grow taut with the...
15 tags
“If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort...”
– Clive Staples.
sunset/sunrise.
The end is always just the beginning of something else. Tomorrow someone I don’t know is moving into my bedroom. In two and a half weeks I’m moving somewhere I’ve never been before. Next Thursday is my last major health procedure. Next Tuesday I’m going to start seeing a counselor. This weekend I’m picking up the last of my things from the car wreck. I begin driving...
it really was quite beautiful in its own way.
In retrospect I don’t even think she fully noticed the changes that night; nevertheless the next morning she woke up to the discovery that she had a heart for the first time in months. She no longer felt the jagged edges of it’s remnants beneath her bruised skin and broken ribs or the gapping hole that only served as a reminder for who she could never be, but she felt the beginnings...
8 tags
on being different: exceptions vs. rules.
Maybe the problem was that for just a second I actually believed it. For a moment I allowed myself to think that I could be an exception to all of the rules that have been entrenched into society for centuries. I was the cyclist who left the helmet at home, the driver who forgot to buckle the seatbelt, the child who talked to strangers, and the girl who thought she was different.
The irony is, of...
13 tags
“We met it seems, such a short time ago. You looked at me, needing me so. Yet...”
– Widow Tweed, The Fox & The Hound
14 tags
The Willow & The Builder — Rosaline
...
4 tags
Underoath—Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others...
2006
Looking back on that summer I can’t honestly say whose fault it was that things ended the way they did. At the time I would have sworn that I wasn’t in the wrong, and that I was the one abandoned by the ones I loved. I know myself too well now, though, for it to be that simple. We were young. We were immature. We expected the glory of our summer days to last forever, but at 15...
It seems that all my bridges have been burned, but you say that’s exactly how this grace thing works. It’s not the long walk home that will change this heart, but the welcome I recieve with each restart.
These mountains are in my blood.
I climbed to the top of the world today, but it wasn’t high enough.
As I stood there I paused, the winds howled and the leaves trembled, but it wasn’t strong enough. Then I sat down, gazing up and observing the trees that separated myself from the heavens, but they didn’t hide me. I watched the water pass below, rippling and roaring, but it wouldn’t carry me away. I looked...
I love flying, but I will forever hate airports.
12 tags
And when I was at Findhorn, I met this extraordinary English tree expert, who had devoted his life to saving trees. He just got back from Washington, lobbying to save the redwoods. He’s eighty-four years old and he always travels with a back-pack ‘cause he never knows where he’s gonna be tomorrow.
When I met him at Findhorn he said to me: “Where are you from?” And...
6 tags
Phoenix | Love Like A Sunset Pt. 1 & 2
...
5 tags
“It was only a couple weeks later she suggested getting married.
I said,...”
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rinse and repeat.
3 years. 3 months. 3 weeks. 3 days. 3 hours. 3 minutes. 3 seconds. 3 words.
Sometimes I think I can’t remember anything and other times I seem to be incapable of forgetting anything. Memory is a fickle being: haunting us with what we want to lose and taunting us with what we need to recall.
I can remember the day I was late for my first summer class (I always seem to be late for the...
November 2011
30 posts
“Too many guys think I’m a concept, or I complete them, or I’m gonna...”
Anonymous asked: If I could travel anywhere, you know where I would go?.
3 out of 5 times the quickest way to winning my heart is making me a mixed cd or playlist.
Dream #1.
We’ll meet at Cracker Barrel—I don’t know why, I just think it is always the appropriate meeting place on road trips. I will get there first because I was anxious watching the clock’s time tick-tock slowly by, so finally I just got in my car and on the road. I’ll walk in to put my name on the waiting list, but there isn’t much of a wait so I don’t bother....